This Is Where You Belong

Description

In the spirit of Gretchen Rubin’s megaseller The Happiness Project and Eric Weiner’s The Geography of Bliss, a journalist embarks on a project to discover what it takes to love where you live

The average restless American will move 11.7 times in a lifetime. For Melody Warnick, it was move #6, from Austin, Texas, to Blacksburg, Virginia, that threatened to unhinge her. In the lonely aftermath of unpacking, she wondered: Aren’t we supposed to put down roots at some point? How does the place we live become the place we want to stay? This time, she had an epiphany. Rather than hold her breath and hope this new town would be her family’s perfect fit, she would figure out how to fall in love with it—no matter what.
     How we come to feel at home in our towns and cities is what Warnick sets out to discover in This Is Where You Belong. She dives into the body of research around place attachment—the deep sense of connection that binds some of us to our cities and increases our physical and emotional well-being—then travels to towns across America to see it in action. Inspired by a growing movement of placemaking, she examines what its practitioners are doing to create likeable locales. She also speaks with frequent movers and loyal stayers around the country to learn what draws highly mobile Americans to a new city, and what makes us stay. The best ideas she imports to her adopted hometown of Blacksburg for a series of Love Where You Live experiments designed to make her feel more locally connected. Dining with her neighbors. Shopping Small Business Saturday. Marching in the town Christmas parade.
     Can these efforts make a halfhearted resident happier? Will Blacksburg be the place she finally stays? What Warnick learns will inspire you to embrace your own community—and perhaps discover that the place where you live right now . . . is home.“With this book by your side, a happier life is just around the corner.”—Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of The Happiness Project

“[Warnick’s] journey to feeling attached to where she lives is scientific and packed with research, but also feels like an old friend’s casual banter. This practical exercise in intentional place-based happiness is for the homesick and the optimistic alike.”—Shelf Awareness
 
“Two books in one: a well-researched survey of the literature on place attachment, and a how-to guide for readers wanting to fall in love with where they live.”—Library Journal

“A series of research-backed ways to be happy in a new home.”—Time

“Where we choose to live is the single most important decision we make. Melody Warnick shows you how to find a place you truly love and even more importantly how to make it your very own. This Is Where You Belong is an important book for so many people out there who are choosing their place to live.”—Richard Florida, author of Who’s Your City? and Rise of the Creative Class

“This Is Where You Belong deconstructs one of the most important decisions a person makes in the new gig economy: where to call home. With boundless curiosity and spirited, seamless prose, Melody Warnick’s placemaking manifesto will make you want to be a better neighbor, wanderer, and citizen of the world.”—Beth Macy, author of Factory Man

“Between the lines of this marvelous book is a deeper message for those who seek it. Yes, you can find happiness just about anywhere—and Melody Warnick will show you how—but some places are happier than others, and those considering a move would be wise to read these pages first and see where they lead.”—Jeff Speck, author, Walkable City: How Downtown Can Save America, One Step at a Time

“A charming, thoughtful book about how to find new joys in your own hometown. With suggestions on walking, buying locally, and visiting farmer’s markets, it’s a reminder that the best place to live can be where you already are.”—Janice Kaplan, New York Times bestselling author of The Gratitude Diaries
 
“Our neighbors are an overlooked but critical resource in so many ways. This great, readable book from Melody Warnick nails why we should all be doing more to invest in our communities and neighborhoods to create more connected, happier, healthier, and safer spaces.”—Daniel P. Aldrich, author of Building Resilience and Site Fights
 
“I live in and write about a small Alaskan town and Melody Warnick quantified so many of the reasons why I love Haines. This must be the best how-to book ever written on how (and why) to love the place you live. Read it and share it, and then go out and make your community better.”—Heather Lende, author of Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons from a Small-town Obituary Writer
 
“Thoughtful, witty, and engaging, Warnick combines personal anecdotes and thorough research to uncover the power and impact of connecting with the people around you. A fun and worthwhile read.”—Marc J. Dunkelman, visiting fellow at Brown’s Taubman Center for Public Policy and American Institutions, and author of The Vanishing Neighbor
 
“Warnick convincingly argues that one of the most important relationships in your life is with where you live. This book is an empowering guide for anyone who wonders if they will ever feel like they really belong to a community. I already feel more inspired.”—Kelly McGonigal, author of The Upside of Stress

A freelance journalist for more than a decade, Melody Warnick has written for Reader’s Digest, O: The Oprah Magazine, Redbook, Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies’ Home Journal, Woman’s Day, Parents, and The Atlantic’s CityLab. She lives with her family in Blacksburg, Virginia.

1. What place do you consider home? Why? Do you ever think about moving elsewhere? If so, where would you go?

2. In chapter 1, Melody Warnick describes her belief in “the geographic cure,” the idea that a new place will change her life and make her a better, happier person. Do you think there’s any truth to the geographic cure? Why or why not?

3. Although some research shows that children who relocate a lot struggle with relationships and life satisfaction as adults, in other ways, highly mobile children do just fine. In what ways has your moving history as a child influenced the person you’ve become as an adult? Did moving or staying put help or hurt you?

4. What are the differences between being mobile, stuck, and rooted? What makes someone like Gertie Moore seem more rooted than stuck? In which category would you put yourself?

5. How well your town makes you happy is in part a product of person-environment fit. For instance, Warnick’s friend Amber has such a good person-environment fit with Austin, Texas, that “if Austin were a guy, you would set Amber up with him on a blind date.” Who would you set up on a date with your current town? Why?

6. One of the Love Your City Checklist suggestions in chapter 2 is to “follow the ‘1-Mile Solution’” by replacing one car trip per week with a biking or walking errand instead. Why are walking and biking so popular right now? If you lived close enough to walk or bike to the supermarket or another important local spot, how would it change your experience of your city?

7. Warnick tells the story of Jay Leeson, a transplant to Wilmore, Kentucky, who organized a campaign to keep Leonard Fitch’s grocery store from going out of business. Leeson calls this neighborly economics. Do we have a moral responsibility to support local businesses, even if they’re more expensive? Or should market forces determine which businesses survive?

8. A Pew Research Center study found that people who live within an hour’s drive of at least six family members are the least likely to move. Would living close to your extended family make you happier? Or like Warnick, do you consider distance from family a “get-out-of-jail free” card?

9. Almost a third of Americans don’t know any of their neighbors by name, and yet many studies show the value of neighborhood relationships, including the fact that when you are friends with your neighbors, you’re 67 percent less likely to have a heart attack and 48 percent less likely to have a stroke. Why are Americans less neighborly than they used to be? Do you wish you knew your neighbors better, or are you happier being left alone?

10. According to the Knight Soul of the Community study, the three factors that are most influential in creating place attachment are social offerings, aesthetics, and openness. Did anything about this list surprise you? Which of these three elements is most important for you? What’s missing from the list that’s helped you feel attached to where you live?

11. In chapter 7, Warnick introduces Brian Mogren and Don Samuels, who chose to move to troubled neighborhoods in Minneapolis. Do you think this approach can genuinely change a place? What factors do you normally consider when you’re deciding where to live? Would you ever make a similar choice to move somewhere because you hoped to improve it?

12. Does being aware of your city’s problems make you love it less? Would volunteering with your city’s homeless community, for instance, make you feel more attached, or simply more worried about the future of your city?

13. Warnick cites several reasons why people gravitate toward certain landscapes, from childhood history to evolutionary biology. What kind of landscapes draws you? Why? Can you find some element of that landscape where you live?

14. If you moved away from your town tomorrow, what restaurant meal or local food would you miss the most? Why do sense memories of the tastes, smells, and sounds of places you’ve lived or visited seem to last longer than other kinds of memories?

15. How does personality affect our ability to become place attached? For example, do you think it’s easier for extraverts than for introverts? What about people who rate highly on openness or agreeability?

16. Among the book’s Love Where You Live principles is this: If you love your city, you should do what’s good for it. Is there something you could contribute to your city to make it a better place to live? How do you think organizing a placemaking project or running for local office might change the way you feel about where you live?

17. How attached are you to the place where you live now? Which statements from the place attachment scale in chapter 1 do you agree with most strongly? Which do you disagree with?

18. What Love Where You Live experiment would you be willing to try where you live now?

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