The Two-Minute Secret to Staying in Love

Description

Marry the one you love, and love the one you marry. It sounds simple enough. But staying in love turns out to be a whole lot different than falling in love. In a world of constant distraction, marriage experts agree that the little things matter—a lot. The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love explores the little things couples think, say, and do to stay in love for the long haul.

Supported by expert studies, interviews with happily married couples, and years of personal experience, author Heidi Poelman shares the simple secrets that keep love alive. Whether it’s choosing an attitude of gratitude, leaving a love note, giving a welcome-home hug at the door, or calling just to say “Hello,” The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love is full of simple ways to love the one you married, two minutes at a time.

• Preface
• Chapter 1 First comes love, then comes marriage. “Falling” in love: What’s love got to do with it? Staying in love: What’s in it for me?
• Chapter 2 Two-minute moments: Why little things matter so much
• Chapter 3 What were you thinking? It’s all about perspective What lens are you using? Focusing on strengths. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Assuming the best Gratitude. Your happiness is my happiness
• Chapter 4 Say what? The power of loving words: “I love you” “I am grateful for you” “I admire you.” Compliments. Make ‘em laugh. Connect through questions. Powerful pronouns. Celebrate your spouse. Couple codes
• Chapter 5 Taking action: The little deeds that make a big difference. Create rituals. Serve your spouse. Support your spouse. Leave a love note. Surprise your spouse. Connect by phone. Great greetings. Who’s number one? Are you listening? Be responsive. I want what you want. Dress to impress. Be playful. Be attentive. Walk down memory lane. Love through music. Ask your spouse out. Loving touch
• Chapter 6 Get a Little Closer: Small Steps Toward Great Intimacy. 1st key ingredient: Emotional intimacy. 2nd key ingredient: Appreciate the importance. 3rd key ingredient: Set the stage. 4th key ingredient: Communicate. 5th key ingredient: Selflessness
• Chapter 7 Fight the good fight: Simple tools for handling conflict. Start softly. Seek first to understand. Use questions for clarity. Check in when in doubt. Reflective listening. Validating and empathizing. It’s not you, it’s me. Body language. Say what you mean. Say what you do want. Consider timing. Take five. Let it go. Try gratitude. Think win/win
• Chapter 8 What not to do: Bitter behaviors that take a big bite. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t criticize. Don’t get defensive. Don’t withdraw. Don’t respond when you’re angry. Don’t say always and never (in negative ways). Don’t compare. Don’t keep score
• Chapter 9 Coming back together: Apologies and forgiveness
• Chapter 10 How do you love me? A word on differences. Consider your childhood. Consider differences between men and women. Consider your love languages
• Chapter 11 Carry on: Love is a verb

"This is one of the most practical, sensible, and accessible resources available for anyone who wants to create enduring intimacy."
—Joseph Grenny, New York Times Bestselling author of Crucial Conversations and Change Anything

"Often it's the simple daily doses of small loving actions that nurture a relationship. The Two-Minute Marriage Project is a celebration of the little things that can make love last. Filled with the latest marriage research, personal stories, and anecdotes from happy partners, this book contains everyday tools that can actually make a difference." 
—Margaret Paul, PhD, best-selling author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You, Healing Your Aloneness, and Inner Bonding.http://www.innerbonding.com.
 
"Most self-help books are written by clinicians. Few topics in the relationship arena are examined by those in the 'trenches of life.' Heidi Poelman is a rather typical middle class American wife and mother. She writes as one experiencing marriage as it is—with highs and lows—yet her approach is about what works. Her positive style offers suggestion after suggestion to the reader about how to give and receive love in ways that offer hope and direction to all those wanting to be happily married. This is a wonderful book, full of little gems and nuggets of wisdom. I endorse it for those young and old who want to stay content in a committed relationship." 
– J. Kent Griffiths, PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist
 
“We all want to marry the one we love, and love the one we marry. But that's just the beginning. Staying in love after being married turns out to be a whole lot different than just falling in love in the first place. In a world of constant distraction, marriage experts agree that the little things matter a lot. An informed and informative instruction guide to having an amazing, fantastic, loving, playful, intimate, and happy marriage, Heidi Poelman's "The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love" explores the little things couples think, say, and do to stay in love for the long haul. Supported by expert studies, interviews with happily married couples, and years of personal experience, Poelman shares the simple secrets that keep love alive. Whether it's choosing an attitude of gratitude, leaving a love note, giving a welcome-home hug at the door, or calling just to say "The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love" is packed from cover to cover of simple, practical, effective ways to love the one you married — two minutes at a time! Thoroughly 'user friendly' in organization and presentation, "The Two-Minute Secret for Staying in Love" is very highly recommended for both community library collections and personal reading lists of any seeking to keep love alive after years and even decades of married life.”
-Midwest Book Review
 

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