The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4

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The incredible Sunday Times bestseller

‘Essential…A complex blend of overexcited Adrian Mole-like anecdotes mixed with shocking moments of racism and insights into Muslim religious practices’ Sunday Times

‘Authentic, funny and very relatable’ – Sayeeda Warsi

In 1997, Britain was leading the way to an exciting new world order. A funny, loveable and naïve 13-year-old Tez Ilyas from working class Blackburn wanted to be a doctor. By the end of 2001, the UK was at war with Afghanistan and Islamophobia had shot through the roof. 18-year-old Tez wasn’t heading for a medical degree.

In this rollercoaster of a coming-of-age memoir, comedian Tez Ilyas takes us back to the working class, insular British Asian Muslim community that shaped the man he grew up to be. Full of rumbling hormones, mischief-making friends, family tragedy, racism Tez didn’t yet understand and a growing respect for his religion, his childhood is both a nostalgic celebration of everything that made growing up in the 90s so special, and a reflection on how hardship needn’t define the person you become.

At times shalwar-wetting hilarious and at others searingly sad, this is an eye-opening childhood memoir from a little-heard perspective that you’ll be thinking about long after you’ve finished the last page.

Tez Ilyas is one of the most exciting rising stars on the comedy circuit, cemented by his nomination for Club Comedian of the Year in this year’s Chortle Awards. He was featured on the BBC New Talent Hot List in 2017 and was a Chortle Best Breakthrough Nominee in the same year. His 2015 debut stand up hour TEZ Talks had a sell-out run at the Soho Theatre and three hit BBC Radio 4 series based on the show followed. His 2016 show Made in Britain sold out every performance at the Edinburgh Fringe, and his third show Teztify achieved a sell-out nationwide tour and was released as a stand-up special earlier this year, racking up 65,000 views in a matter of weeks.
As well as delivering his politically astute stand-up, he is one of the stars of hit sitcom Man Like Mobeen (BBC Three) and has appeared on a host of panel shows, including Mock the Week and The Last Leg,as well as fronting his own critically-acclaimed cult-hit satirical series The Tez O’Clock Show (Channel 4). His own sitcom pilot (Blap) Bounty for Channel 4 has amassed over 800,000 views (the most-watched in the strand’s 10-year history), his TEDx Talk has over 150,000 views and his Live at the Apollo performance has been watched over 10 million times online.
In September 2020 Tez launched his huge new nationwide tour show, Populist, for Autumn 2021.

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