The Jagged Word Field Guide

This collection of essays explores masculinity in an unsystematic way. We’ve found that the various ways we’ve approached masculinity tend to fall into some broad and practical categories in our writing. To be a man means to be free to be what God has already declared we are in Christ—­His saved and redeemed men. A man is free; we are free from sin, death, and the power of the devil. Being free, a man is then honored to work for his neighbor’s good, knowing that his closest neighbors are those whom God has placed closest to him in his life—­his family. And just as a man speaks to and cares for his own, so also does a man need to be spoken to and cared for at times. He needs the mutual consolation of the brethren, a brotherhood. To put it simply, a man needs good friends. Over and over again, we find praise for fun, the love of good fellowship, good drink, and good smoke.

PART ONE: FREE TO BE A MAN

The Lost Art of Masculinity • 3 

Live as the Men You Are Called to Be • 6 

Your Girlfriend Is Stronger than You Are • 10 

What Kind of Man Are You? • 13 

A Wasted Life? • 17 

We Are Not Descended from Fearful Men • 21 

The Masculine Spirit • 25

Manhood and the Totin’ Chip • 29

Strapped! • 32

Lessons from a Son • 36

And Then I Made It Home • 39

Spiritual Masturbation and Masculinity • 41

Wall Building as a Christian Virtue • 45

On Receiving Criticism • 48

Growing Old • 52

Want to Be an American Sniper? • 56

PART TWO: WORKING FOR OUR NEIGHBORS

Where Is All the Cool Stuff? • 61

Why Aren’t You in School? • 64

Passion Is Overrated • 67

We Don’t Need Sports • 69

The Garage vs. the Man Cave • 73

Radiators and Hair Buns • 76

Old Books and New Pulpits • 78

The Granite Never Lies • 81

PART THREE: FAMILY

The Barber Shop • 85

A Little Adversity Can Go a Long Way • 87

You Are Not as Fragile as You Think You Are! • 90

The Worst and Best Seventy-Two Hours of My Life • 93

Send Your Kid to Camp • 96

Allow Your Kids to Do Hard Things • 99

Yes, I Brainwash My Children, and So Do You—So Do It Well • 101

A Healthy Reliance! • 104

Duty vs. Virtue • 107

A Society without Father • 110

Kids Are Too Damn Busy . . . Families Are Too Damn Separated! • 113

Home Sweet Home • 116

The Head of the House • 119

No Father → No Faith? • 122

Nobody Is Happy When a Helicopter Is Hovering over His Head! • 125

The Land of Safe and the Home of the Always Successful • 129

The Ten Commandments of the Modern Parent • 132

Father Absence and a Sibling Society • 135

Happy Wife, Happy Life • 139

Women Weaken Legs! • 144

I Can Dooey It! • 148

To Esther • 152

Scared Shitless • 155

Adultery • 157

Paralyzed by Fear • 160

The Father in the Middle • 162

If God Is Better than My Father, He’s Really Good • 165

Through the Father’s Eyes • 168

Like Father, Like Son • 172

Father Knows Best • 175

The Awesomest • 179

A Good Father • 182

Father Fails and Forgiveness • 186

PART FOUR: FRIENDSHIP

It’s OK That We’re Not Friends… I Like It That Way! • 191

Finding My Brother • 194 

Guns, Beer, and  Biblical Translation • 198 

In the Company of Great Men • 201 

Dangerous Friendships • 204 

A Gathering of Men • 207 

The Names I’ve Forgotten • 210 

Mutual Brotherly Consolation and Forgiveness • 213

The Rebellion of Friendship • 217

The Joy of Sex and Church • 220

Welcome to the Rebellion • 223

I Am Frodo Baggins • 226

Friendship • 230

PART FIVE: GOOD SMOKE, GOOD DRINK, AND GOOD FELLOWSHIP

Simple Pleasures, Brotherhood, and Calm Delight • 235

How the Cigar Can Save America • 238

The Argument against Pipe Smoking • 241

Pining for Grandpa • 247

Manhattans, Decorative Swords, and a Mack Truck Ashtray • 250

Bibliography • 255