A Series of Unfortunate Events #4: The Miserable Mill

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NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIESI hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I’m sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven’t, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

As the Baudelaire orphans look out the grimy window of the train taking them to the Lucky Smells Lumbermill to live, they can’t help but wonder what lies ahead.

For Violet, who is an inventor, perhaps there will be machines to observe. Machines that saw wood canbe very interesting, even though in the wrong hands they can be the cause of ghastly accidents.

And for Klaus, who enjoys reading immensely, perhaps there will be a library. Information found in a book can be very useful. Especially if an evil doctor is lurking about.

And for Sunny, who likes nothing better than to bite things with her four sharp teeth, perhaps there will be bark to chew. It is important to keep teeth sharp when someone close by may be hiding a sword.

As the train pulls into the station, one thing is certain: The unlucky Baudelaire orphans had best keep their teeth, wits, and minds sharp, for whatever awaits them at the mill may well be the deadliest in a series of unfortunate events.

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