100 Bullshit Jobs…And How to Get Them

Description

What do being a feng shui advisor, marketing consultant, and vice president of the United States have in common? The inimitable Stanley Bing presents a tasteful pile of these and other bullshit jobs, and explains how to snag one for yourself.

From bestselling author and business guru Stanley Bing comes an indispensable guide for the contemporary working person—specifically, a worker who is ambitious, greedy, and lazy. In his helpful, witty, straight-shooting style, Bing, who based his entire career and several bestselling books on his own very special brand of bullshit, guides the reader through a plethora of bullshit jobs that pay well and demand very little knowledge or effort.

Walmart greeters, executive headhunters, aromatherapists: The people lucky enough to have secured this type of bullshit employment are everywhere, in virtually every field—from ayurvedic healing to zoo management. Bing’s handy reference explains the myriad benefits of such bullshit ways to earn a living, and details steps readers should take to land a bullshit job of their own.

The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue across a wide range of professions. Now, best-selling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it.

What, Bing inquires, do a feng shui consultant, new media executive, wine steward, department store greeter, and Vice President of the United States have in common? What, too, are the actual duties performed by a McKinsey consultant? Other than sitting around making people nervous? Could that possibly be his core function? Likewise, what does an aromatherapist actually do, per se? Sniff things and rub them on people, for big fragrant bucks? Is that all?

The answer in all cases is “Yes.” They all have bullshit jobs.

These few, of course, are just the beginning. Across the length and breadth of this shrinking globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who “work” in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable — they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do.

At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs — the money they bring with them, the actual tasks and activities involved (if any), and famous and successful examples of each position, who will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer what others so far have not–a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers at every level reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

“A hilarious, thought-provoking war plan for the battlefield of the modern workplace. Bing proves once and for all that the pen is mightier than the sword, especially when he’s wielding the pen and the guy with the sword has been dead for thousands of years.” “A masterful curmudgeon who causes laugh-out-loud moments.” “Among our best corporate-war correspondents. Bing provides a wickedly entertaining little guide to remaking yourself as a rapacious, coldhearted S.O.B.”

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